Competition
by fastgirl01
Summary: Summary: Ever wonder what training is like for the Young Justice team? I do! It's all good fun, and add a little competition . . . what's not to love?
1. The Morning

Author's Note: This is my first fanfiction, so please don't kill me. I have just been reading and I am so inspired by all of my fellow YJ fans and their super-duper-pooper-scooper fun and creative stories! I wanted to do something fun of my own, without imitating anything I have read. This came to me while I was on a run, (I'm a varsity high school Track and Field runner, middle distance) and I'm just going to "run with it". Ha, puns! Anywhooo, let's-a-go! Also, in this story, the speedforce exists, lightning and all, unlike in Young Justice.

Summary: Ever wonder what training is like for the Young Justice team? I do! It's all good fun, and add a little competition . . . what's not to love?

"GET UP GET UP GET UP YOU LAZY BUTT! GET UP GET UP YOU LAZY BUTT!" squealed Artemis's customized alarm clock. One slender, tan hand shot out from under the green duvet cover and fumbled for the stop button. The racket continued.

"OH MY GOD", the bed snarled. Tossing off the covers, Artemis sat up and slammed a fist down on top of the clock, finally silencing it. She sighed, knowing resistance was futile and there was no point in going back to bed. Rubbing those nasty morning eye booger thingies away she walked into the bathroom of the Gotham apartment that she shared with her mom. Taking out her long blonde braid that she slept in, she peeled off her Green Arrow jammies (what? At least they were not Kid Flash jammies, she saw those while at Walmart looking for her gallon bottle of shampoo) and tossed them in the hamper, turned on the shower, and hopped in once the water was hot enough.

Now out squeaky clean, Artemis toweled off and pulled on her super suit (cough*Edna Mode*cough). She walked back into her room and pulled her bow and quiver out from under the bed, slinging both across her back, and was about to leave the room when…

"GET UP GET UP GET UP YOU LAZY BUTT! GET UP GET UP YOU LA-" the door closed as the clock fell to the ground with an arrow sticking through it.

* * *

Wally snorted milk out of his nose and onto his stack of 30 pancakes. He had just turned his head to see his Uncle Barry facing him silently, two grapes shoved up his nose, his tongue lolling out of his open mouth, and his eyes crossed. As Wally cackled in hysterics, eyes watering from the milk burning his nose, Uncle Barry grinned broadly and snorted the grapes back into is hand and then popped them into his mouth.

"Bartholomew Allen! What kind of manners are those?" Aunt Iris squawked with one eyebrow raised and hands on her hips. She was dressed in a nice green blouse, grey slacks, and a matching grey blazer with her hair and make-up ready for her camera time at the news station where she worked.

"He he he. Sorry honey", Barry mumbled with grapes still in his mouth and a sheepish grin on his face. Aunt Iris sighed planting a kiss on his lips and then walking around the table pecking Wally's forehead.

"Barry, don't forget about your dinner with Bruce tonight at Amore, and Wally make sure you are not late for training at the cave, Dick called me to make sure someone reminded you that it starts in 30 minutes." Iris told the boys as she picked up her keys and walked out the door.

The door closed shut and Uncle Barry turned back to Wally, "I bet I can eat more pancakes in ten seconds then you can," he piped.

"Bring it," Wally said, eyes narrowed and fork at the ready.

* * *

M'gann floated around as eggs, milk, flour, sugar, and other culinary supplies danced around her preparing breakfast in the cave's kitchen. Just as she cracked an egg into the bowl, two strong arms slipped around her waist from behind and pulled her in close.

"Whatcha makin?" Conner whispered sleepily into her ear. M'gann turned around in his embrace and put her arms around his neck.

"Homemade french toast," she replied happily, "it's a new recipe that Black Canary gave me, apparently it's a very popular Earth breakfast!"

"Never had it, but I'm sure it will be great." Conner said, releasing her and grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. "By the way, you may want to change your clothes before the rest of the team gets here."

M'gann glanced down and blushed. She was wearing nothing but one of Conner's shirts (don't worry she had on underwear) that when down to her mid thigh.

* * *

After saying good morning to M'gann, Conner walked to his room and opened his closet door pulling out one of his twenty black t-shirts with the red Super-family crest. He sighed as he looked at the Superman poster on the inside of his closet door. Only M'gann knew it was there. He closed the closed door and pulled the shirt on and then sat on his bed to pull his black combat boots on.

Getting up he walked over to the mirror and placed a small silver chain around his neck. It was a necklace given to him by the team for his first birthday, and had been created by each member in some small way or another. Robin some how managed to get his mitts on 7 ounces of pure silver from the Fort Knox* silver reserve. When Captain Marvel (Shazam) asked him how he got it, his only reply was "definitely not by breaking the law." Wally used his speed force lightning to melt the metal, and Artemis crafted the beautiful, thin chain with her superior braiding skills. Apparently, unlike Robin, she doesn't have an unlimited supply of gadgets, so she knows blacksmithing stuff from having to remake her damaged arrowheads. Aquaman infused it with electric powers so that should an enemy grab a hold of it in battle, well, let's just say they would be in for a nasty shock. Zatanna enchanted it to be unbreaking and impossible to lose. If he had to take it off and somehow misplaced it it would appear around his neck within the next hour. And M'gann donated a jet black obsidian gem from Marz's largest volcano to be inlaid as a charm.

 _Conner, the french toast is ready!_ M'gann called out to him through their mind link. Conners stomach grumbled, and he smiled as he walked out of the door and smelled the sugary goodness coming from the kitchen.

* * *

How does Aqualad even get up in the morning? Does he sleep? Does he eat? What does he eat? I feel like animals are a no go, so would he be vegan? Does he practice his grammar every morning? Does he meditate? I feel like he would be a guy who would meditate. He is just so stoic, my goofy goober brain is having difficulty computing. Somebody help me out here. I need ideas. Hey wanna hear something random that is totally the opposite of Aqualad. Too bad, you have no choice now. GOATS SMELL LIKE MUSHROOMS AND WHEN YOU SHOOT A DUCK I AM SCARED OF TOASTERS. Yay.

* * *

It was 5:00 in the morning, and Robin was up. Why? Scarecrow, that's why. Apparently he had some master plan to fill one of those haunted house adventure places with fear gas. And before that, Joker had to be hunted down for deciding to use carrier pigeons to drop water balloons full of dog crap on pedestrians. It was not a particularly vicious crime, but nobody in the entire city dared to apprehend that crazed clown except for the bats. Again, it was 5:00 in the morning, and Robin was not feeling the aster. He had not slept a wink the whole night, he smelled bad, he was hungry, and he had training at the cave in 3 hours. Peeling off his domino mask, Dick walked downstairs and into the kitchen to be greeted by the sight of Alfred cooking his favorite breakfast; three poached eggs, two eggo waffles with syrup on the side, 1 bowl of blackberries, and a large cup of triple espresso coffee.

"Good morning, Master Dick," greeted Alfred in his smooth British accent. "I take the night's adventures were successful given that neither you are Master Bruce are mortally wounded in any way." Dick smiled, "Good morning, Alfred. It was a good night. Can you hit me up with two caffeine pills? I'm going to put them in my belt in case the coffee wears off in the middle of training today. It would suck to be beaten by Wally just because my face falls asleep into his fist." Alfred chuckled lightly "Heaven forbid, we would never hear the end of it."

"Dick, finish up, I just got a call from Commissioner Gordon," a gravely voice sounded from the doorway behind Dick. Bruce was in full costume and holding the keys to the Batmobile. "It seems that there is a shoot out downtown between the police and a street gang. We have been called in to help." With that Bruce turned with a swish of his cape and headed towards the hangar.

"No rest for the weary?" Alfred said.

"No, definitely not." replied Dick.

Dick walked into the hangar chugging coffee and putting on his mask at the same time. He hopped into the Batmobile and wiped away his coffee-stash and grinned up at Bruce.

"Any chance I get to drive today?" Dick questioned.

"No. Besides, I thought you were exhausted" responded Bruce.

"Not when caffeine has a say!" quipped Dick. Bruce smiled, something he really only reserved for his adopted son, and slammed on the gas, shooting out of the cave and eliciting a surprised squeak out of Dick, who accidentally spilled coffee into his own lap.

* * *

*Fort Knox*- The fort is best known as the site of the United States Bullion Depository, which is used to house a large portion of the United States' official gold reserves. It also boasts some of the tightest and most advanced security in the world.

Authors Note - How was it? Good, bad, a little bit of both? Please write some reviews, I would really love it!


	2. Bounce

Author's Note - Hello again readers! This is my second installment of my series "Competition". I would love suggestions for future chapters. I did some research over "the tractor" in this story. It's basically a recreation of this gargantuan farming tractor that weighs 50 TONS (45,00 Kg for any non-Americans). I thought it would be suitable for Supey's training equipment.

Things are building up slowly in this plot, so just hang in there! The next chapter is gold. Hopefully. Probably. Please don't eat me.

* * *

Chapter 2 : Tractor

Sweat dripped down Conner's forehead making his eyes sting, and he could taste the faint trace of salt on his lips. Grunting with effort he continued, his concentration directed towards the automated voice being projected from the speakers in the cavernous training room at Mount Justice.

" _Four hundred ninety-seven. Four hundred ninety-eight. Four hundred ninety-nine. Five hundred. Training session complete."_ Conner sighed and with a final heave, tossed the 100,000 pound (45,000 Kg) tractor he had been bench pressing to the ground, its monstrous tires thundering onto the pavement making the whole mountain shake. Conner sat up, relishing the sore, shaky feeling in his upper body after such a difficult workout.

When Conner had first joined the team, the notion of training made him scoff. He was the clone of Superman. Enough said. But, as he learned, training is not an option for any member of the League or the Team.

"You are strong," explained Batman, as he materialized out of the shadows where he had been observing "but, there is always room for improvement, and there will come a time when you will have to rely on skills other than your strength." Conner rolled his eyes and the Bat turned to address a buzzing com-link in his ear.

"Even Superman trains."

Conner raised his eyebrow, how did the Dark Knight read his emotions without even looking at him?

"Because he's Batman," a voice whispered in Conner's ear. Startled Conner jumped, but momentarily forgetting his strength in his current state of exhaustion, he leapt headfirst into the concrete ceiling.

Conner whipped around to give a little bird a well deserved, if not slightly rough, noogie, but his hands grasped thin air. Gleeful cackling resonated from all directions, and Conner turned to see Batman leaving the room, grumbling something about caffeine. Shrugging, Conner scooped up his water bottle and proceeded to follow the caped crusader out of the room. A golf ball sized chunk of concrete fell from the now very damaged ceiling and bounced off of his head as he exited.

* * *

Authors note -

I just want to give a shout out to all of my followers (yes I'm talking to YOU, if you are a follower I mean you) and reviewers! The positive feedback has been so uplifting and you have no idea the smile you all bring to my face. Have a splendiferous day and DFTBA!


	3. Butt Cheek On A Stick

Authors note - Writing this story was fun! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, and I hope it brings a smile to your day! Virtual hug to all of my beloved followers and reviewers!

* * *

Chapter 3: Butt Cheek on a Stick

"I bet you an entire gallon of Blue Bell Double Fudge Brownie ice cream that you can't hit me!" Wally preened, puffing up his chest and grinning smugly.

"Oh, really?"

"Really."

"We'll see about that 'Flash-Boy'," Artemis smirked as she crossed her arms.

 _Hey M'gann,_ Artemis called out telepathically, _I'm going to need your help with something._

 _Sure!_ The green girl chirped back, _whatcha need?_

* * *

Wally laughed, jumping over training equipment and baseball sliding under the belly of Conner's monster tractor with his lightning chasing after him. One slim, very sharp, barbed arrow floated in from of him. He backed up a bit and proceeded to walk two of his fingers across the floating (to him at leat) shaft, as if his hand was a little person wobbling on a balance beam suspended in mid-air.

Artemis growled. Wally's brilliant yellow lightning spun incoherently around the room, and the static charge in the air was making Aretmis' baby hairs stick out in all directions and cling to her face. _Is M'gann coming or not!_ Her brain snapped impatiently. Another arrow pierced the wall with a giggling red and yellow blur still zipping around the room in circles.

"Just give up, Harpy!" Wally called out, easily ducking another arrow.

"Just give up what?" a sweet voice asked from the doorway.

"Just give up trying to deny my irresistible looks, Green Cheeks," Wally flirted, speeding over to M'gann, leaning against the wall, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows. M'gann giggled. Wally had a huge, black pepper kernel stuck between his two front teeth.

Something whistled through the air and before "The Wall-Man" could turn around…

"YEEEEEOOOOOOWWWW!" Wally howled.

* * *

In the control room Black Canary tilted her head curiously.

"Did you hear that?" she said, prodding Green Arrow.

"It's probably just the kids. They're fine. Probably. I hope." GA was interrupted by another shout. Blink. Blink. Three seconds of silent eye contact and then both leaguers ran off down the hall.

* * *

"You shot me! I can't believe you shot me! YOU SHOT ME IN THE BUTT!"

Green Arrow and Black Canary barged into the training room and their only response to the sight before them was wide eyes and open mouths.

Wally had an arrow sticking straight out of his right butt cheek.

Over the young speedster's loud wailing M'gann was stuttering, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry Wally! I thought she was going to use the soft rubber kind!" On the ground gasping for air due to uncontrollable laughter was Artemis. Tears leaked out of her eyes, and she clutched her sides practically having a seizure on the floor.

Wally swiveled around on his left leg to face the preoccupied Archer, eyes wide with shock.

"The soft rubber kind!? Why would you even thin-OOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!" Wally spun around again with another pained yelp to see Green Arrow holding the barbed arrow that had previously made its home in Wally's buttox.

"Dude! A warning next time would be nice!" the speedster snapped. Wally whirled back towards Artemis, who was slowly getting off the ground wiping tears from her face.

"And you!" Wally cried, pointing accusingly at his teammate, "I will have restitution!" he huffed and wobbled out of the room to tend to his wounds; his butt and his ego.

* * *

Up in an air-vent, Robin hit save and started downloading the Cave security feed. His seventh cup of coffee lay empty beside him.

* * *

Author's note - Thank for reading! Feel free to send my ideas of requests! Have a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious day!


	4. Anaconda

M'gann's eyes glowed a brilliant green. Her hands touched her temples and she hovered only six inches off the ground. An eerie wind gusted through the indoor training room and the air seemed to pulsate as the Martian gritted her teeth and objects around her seemed to abandon the laws of gravity. At first glance it seemed as if she was performing magic, but the floating objects and the inexplicable wind were mere side effects of her true intent. M'gann was attempting to communicate telepathically with her Uncle J'onn (the Martian Manhunter) who was twenty miles (32 Kilometers) away. As part of her routine training M'gann was practicing expanding the range of her telepathic communication.

 _M'gan- . . . -ere. . . -Can y-. . . -hea-_ After twenty minutes of stretching her mind she was finally hearing snippets of her Uncle.

 _Uncle J'onn? Uncle J'onn? Can you hear me?_ She called out hopefully.

 _M'gann! Excellent work! This is the farthest you have ever been able to communicate! I am so very proud._ M'gann smiled at her Uncle's praise, and bade him farewell given that training was now complete. The training room returned to its normal state, except for one small thing. A small device had fallen from an air vent in the ceiling. It largely resembled a cockroach minus the fact that it was made of metal, had extremely long antennae, and had a small red light on its back blinking at a rapid, but steady pace. It was officially called a B.C.B.A.M.

* * *

Batman had contingency plans against all members of the league, such as his kryptonite supply for Superman, should any of them go rogue or become victim to mind control. The B.C.B.A.M. was the **B** at **C** ontingency **B** ug **A** gainst **M** artians. Its sole purpose was to create a telepathic disturbance so extreme, any Martian (or telepath) in the vicinity would be temporarily crippled from the unbearable screeching it would play in their minds. It could also be reprogrammed to emit noises other than screeching.

Robin sat up in the air vent with a fist in his mouth, practically choking in an effort to keep from laughing. The eyes on his domino mask were abnormally wide and the thirteen year old was practically shaking. His tenth cup of coffee was finished, the only trace that it ever existed was the faint coffee-stash left on the boy's upper lip. He pressed the play button on the holocomupter on his wrist, leaning against the vent to peer into the training room and witness his masterpiece.

* * *

M'gann gasped and put her hands over her ears. What was going on? Was he being psychically attacked? Had Psimon discovered the location to the cave? And why would he be attacking her with horrible, trashy techno music? She was about to make a counter attack when the music was replaced by something much, much worse. It was a recording of Wally earlier that morning after Artemis had shot him square in his right butt cheek. But this recording had been remixed to the beat and tune of "Anaconda" by Nicki Minaj.

 _You shot me in the butt._

 _You shot me in the butt._

 _I can't believe you shot, shot me in the butt._

 _(continues with rest of putrid rap)_

M'gann crumpled to the floor, yelling "Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop". She hated Nicki Minaj with a burning passion; her music was trash, her videos were trash, she went way too crazy on the plastic surgery that kind of made her look like M'gann's nutty Aunt Kaliki back on Mars. Aunt Kaliki often drank too much Bancha Juice (a type of Martian alcohol) and would end up running around the village square shouting and hitting people with her broom. Not to mention Nicki Minaj's music was the equivalent of regurgitated curdled milk, but in sound form.

Ten minutes had passed and the "music" was still going on. At this point M'gann was just lightly banging her head into the padded wall of the training room, repeating the same thing with each tap.

"Butt. Butt. Butt. Butt. Butt."

Aqualad walked into the room and upon laying eyes on his clearly distressed teammate, he approached her with a furrowed brow.

"M'gann. Are you alright?" he asked. More banging and repeating of "butt". Aqualad back out of the room and sprinted down the hall.

"Batman, you much come quickly! I believe there is something wrong with Miss Martian!" Aqualad said calmly but urgently to the Dark Knight.

When they both arrived back at the training room M'gann was still butting her head against the wall. (PUNS! YAY!)

"Miss Martian, are you alright? What is wrong?" Batman asked, lifting the poor girl up from the floor.

"Butts" was her only reply.

The Dark Night raised a single eyebrow under his cowl. He knew what was going on. He had seen the same side effects on Martian Manhunter when he had first tested the B.C.B.A.M. He handed the dazed young woman to Aqualad, who was standing silent, though clearly confused. Batman scanned the room and walked over to a set of weights, picked up a small electronic device, and crushed it in his hand.

M'gann gave a start and rapidly.

"Oh my goodness. What on earth just happened? That was horrible. I believe I would consider that cruel and unusual punishment." stuttered M'gann.

"That, was Robin." replied Batman. "Probably doing KF a favor after you tricked him into gettin shot. But terrorizing is't really his style of payback. He just like goofy pranks, unless.." Batman trailed off. He walked over to the nearest air vent and ripped it open, reaching inside his hand brushed a plastic object; he grabbed it and pullet it out.

"Uh-oh." he stated gravely, staring at the empty coffee cup in his hand.


	5. Jell-O Pool

Author's Note - So, this story is turning out different from the summary or the original title, "Competition". I still love it and I hope you keep on reading, it is still humor based! I'm now wondering though, do any of you complete your stories and then post them? I feel like that is maybe what I should have done, but whatever, it's too late for that now. Also, thank you to all of my followers and reviewers! Ya'lls advice is so helpful!

* * *

Aqualad was in the Cave's natatorium merely taking a nap in the pool. He had just completed three house of hand to hand combat training with Black Canary. He lay completely limp a few feet under the surface of the water with his eyes closed, enjoying the sensation of weightlessness and the soft current of water pulsing around his neck caused by the slow and steady pumping of his gills. He could taste the refreshing salt water and the hint of cherry. Wait. What?

Kaldur's eyes snapped open only to be burned by a bright red dye that had filled the pool. He kicked upwards and as his head and shoulders breached the surface of the water an electric charge ran through the pool, instantly turning the red solution into . . . cherry jell-o? He pulled his arms out from beneath the gelatin surface, producing a loud sucking sound and wrung his hands, freeing them of of the little jell-o bits that were clinging to them. The Atlantean looked down to see his entire lower half stuck in the red gelatin.

"Hello?" he called out, his pale eyes scanning the room in search of the Jell-o Joker, but he found nothing except a single towel draped across a bench on the deck.

 _M'gann. M'gann?_ Aqualad said over the psychic link. No response. Realizing the psychic link must be down, Kaldur began to shoud audibly. Someone would hear him, right?

* * *

Conner and M'gann were with Batman in the control room. M'gann sat shivering in Conner's lap, and Batman paced back and forth, staring at the empty coffee cup in his hand. He was muttering to himself, but Conner paid no attention. The Boy of Steel was busy making sure his favorite Green Girl was alright.

"Huh, weird," stated Miss Martian into the silence of the control center.

"What?" asked Conner.

"My telepathy all haywire."

"Completely normal side effects after exposure to the B.C.B.A.M." informed the Dark Night gruffly, "the telepathic disruption will have crea-."

"SSSSSHHHH!" Superboy interrupted, silencing the Caped Crusader. Both of his eyebrows raised under his cowl.

"What?" Batman asked sternly, thoroughly caught off guard by the young Kryptonian's lack of respect.

"I said be quiet" growled Conner as he tilted his head and stared intently into the distance. With a few moments to process, Batman realized that Superboy was listening to something. Good thing too, Bruce would hate to have a conversation with Clark over his "son's" manners. That would be super awkward! (PUNS!)

Conner stood up abruptly, a flustered Martian held bridal style in his arms, and took off down the hall leading to the pool. Batman gripped a batarang as he ran after the two aliens, always prepared for danger ahead.

* * *

Batman stared with a blank expression. M'gann and Conner's jaws had (metaphorically) dropped to the floor.

"It seems that I am in need of assistance," Kaldur stated the obvious calmly.

* * *

CRUNCH. CRUNCH. CRUNCH.

Wally walked down the hall towards the natatorium eating (what's new?) Chicken Whizzies with Artemis in tow. His free hand was flapping around animatedly and pausing often to gesture to his (now completely fine due to speed healing) rump, and Artemis was doubled over in hysterics. The pair walked through the door with Wally frowning and Artemis still laughing.

"WOAH!" yelped the speedster. A momentarily confused archer was spun around and shoved back out of the door before the empty Chicken Whizzie bag even hit the ground, and calloused hands slapped over her eyes.

"WALLACE WEST!" Artemis hollered as she tried to pry away his hands. "Let go of me or so help me…" she snarled. A pointy elbow caught Wally in the ribs but he refused to let go.

"I got this Wally, we should both be going because, uuummm, yeah."

Recognizing M'gann's voice Artemis paused her attack and allowed Miss Martian's hand to replace Kid Idiot's. She was marched forward a few steps, but her patience was spent. Not that there is much to spend in the first place.

"What on Earth is going on! Why do we have to go? Why does Kid Moron get to stay? I demand answers!" Artemis huffed as she peeled away M'gann's hands. The Martian was blushing heavily.

"Uuuummmm, wweeeellll, you see. . . its uuuhhhh . . . because, eeerrrrmmm, Aqualad is _indecent_ ," the Green Girl whispered, blushing even harder.

"What, WHERE!?" Artemis asked spinning back towards the door.

BONK. She ran face first into Carrot Top's chest.

"Sorry Arty, gotta protect the bro code," he stated as he waggled his eyebrows and slammed the door shut, locking it from the inside.

The blonde huffed into the steel barrier, spun on her heel, and stalked down the hallway with M'gann floating after her.

* * *

With Aqualad out of the jell-o pool and provided with a towel to put around his waist, (his pants had been sucked off when they had pulled him out; they were still stuck in the red gelatin) Batman could finally sit and think.

Robin had crossed a line. Scaring Superboy was fine, if not a little dangerous and dimwitted. Provoking someone with superhuman strength is generally considered to be be a bad idea. Practically torturing Miss Martian with an "Anaconda" remix was just plain mean, if not a little funny, no real harm done. But turning the pool into jell-o, with somebody in it? Absolutely, positively, bat-tastically NOT OKAY. Fortunately Aqualad had surfaced before the water turned into jell-o, but had he still been under… Batman shuddered . Internally, of course. The mind link had been down, so Aqualad would have had no way to call for help, and sure, Atlanteans can breathe under water. But jell-o? No. Something was wrong. Dick had never been this reckless before. He had not even attended training with Black Canary. Bruce needed to find his baby bird, fast.

* * *

Author's Note- You like? Let me know, because I would love it! Have a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious day!


	6. Sneak Attack

Author's Note - THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER. I finished my first story ever. *Squeals with excitement* I have a new story in the works, the first chapter should be coming soon! I LOVE YOU, FOLLOWERS AND REVIEWERS!

* * *

"Team, mission room. Now." a gravely voice announced over the intercom. Within 60 seconds Superboy, Miss Martian, Aqualad (now fully clothed), Artemis, and Wally were all standing in the mission fully suited up. "Something is wrong with Robin. He has not been seen all day, but he is most definitely still in the cave; as you all well know," stated Batman, cutting straight to the cheese (He he he. Cut the cheese!). "Fan out and search the cave. We have to find him. Miss Martian, can you set up a mind link?"

"Of course, hellooo Megan!" exclaimed the Martian girl. _Can everybody hear me?_ She asked, receiving a mental yes from Batman, Artemis, Aqualad, a grunt from Superboy, and a _loud and clear, Beautiful_ from Kid Flash. The team plus Batman turned away and each headed off down separate halls.

* * *

Batman found Robin in the training room, facing away from him and lazily swinging upside-down from a trapeze. Six empty cups of coffee lay on the mat underneath him. He approached the boy slowly and circled around to face him. His face was extremely pale despite the fact that he was hanging upside down, and the white eyes of his mask were abnormally large, but most disturbing of all was his mouth. The corners of his lips were stretched back into a deranged smile that almost reached his ears and showed all of his teeth. He turned his head slightly to stare at his mentor and after about 7 silent seconds, burst into laughter that sounded more like a screech than an expression of joy. The boy dropped from his perch and charged the Caped Crusader, bird-a-rangs whirling from his finger tips.

* * *

The team barged into the med bay of the cave to see Robin strapped down to a hospital bed still giggling. Batman was peering into a microscope and didn't even bother to look up when the team entered the room.

"Um, Batman?" Kid Flash asked.

"What." he grunted still looking into the microscope.

"You have a bird-a-rang in your back."

"Oh," the Dark Knight replied nonchalantly, standing up, reaching for, pulling out, and throwing aside the pointy object piercing his shoulder blade.

"What's wrong with him?" M'gann asked from Robin's bedside, stroking his ebony hair off his forehead. The young boy snapped at her fingers and started panting like a dog with his tongue lolling out of his mouth followed by a hyena laugh.

"Joker gas," Batman stated as he pulled away from the microscope.

"How did he get exposed to joker gas?" Superboy asked.

"Last night, most likely. We apprehended the Clown for using carrier pigeons to drop bags of dog feces on pedestrians. Robin must have breathed it in while he was fighting with the Joker," Batman detailed.

"Where were you?" the Boy of Steel questioned.

"Preoccupied."

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Robin screeched gleefully, "Preoccupied? Preoccupied! That's one way to put it! Try stuck in a giant cage full of pigeons and covered in doo-doo!" Robin wiggled under his restraints in a fit of giggles.

"Moving on," Batman said hastily, "it seems that the Joker has formulated a compound that lays dormant in the body until exposed to a catalyst."

"And the catalyst would be…?" Aqualad probed.

"Caffeine," Batman said gesturing to the many empty coffee cups in evidence bags on the table next to the microscope.

"The most heavily used drug in the world," Kid Flash informed as he took Batman's place looking into the microscope.

"Quite," agreed Batman, "I was actually about to contact the Flash to see if he could reverse engineer a cure."

"Ppsshhh!" Kid Flash scoffed, "I can do that! This is baby science," he boasted, puffing his chest out a bit.

"I'm not sure Wally…" Batman said only to be interrupted by the young speedster.

"Batman, I gave myself super speed when I was ten, I've got this."

Batman sighed in resignation as the yellow and red streak blurred around the room. Bunsen burners turned on, Robin laughed manically as his blood was drawn, cabinets flung open and beakers, bottles of chemicals, pipets, and graduated cylinders were zipped around the lab tables. The team pressed up against the door, not wanting to trip a speedster in a room full of glass and chemicals.

* * *

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Dick groaned at the noises interrupting his sleep. Throwing the covers over his head, he nestled deeper into his pillow in an attempt to block out the sound.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Sighing, he sat up and and yawned, cracking his eyes open to be met with an unfamiliar sight. He was not in his own room. This was not his bed. These were not his clothes. Actually, there were no clothes (cue fangirl squealing in background). The only thing Dick had on was black boxers and (thankfully) his mask. He was hooked up to a heart rate monitor and IV. Jolting out of the bed he ripped off the electrodes and pulled out the IV. The young detective observed the room; he found nothing but the bed, heart rate monitor, IV stand, and a small table with a clock and a coffee cup full of pens. Dick grabbed a ballpoint pen. A semi-pointy weapon was better than no weapon at all. Pen in hand, Robin tested the door handle, growling when he realized it was locked. He spun around and after a moment grinned. Whoever had captured him clearly neglected his affinity with air vents.

* * *

Robin was still crawling around the ventilation system after about ten minutes with only his instincts to guide him. Occasionally he would come across a vent and peer through to see foreign hallways. After twenty minutes, he still found nothing. At the thirty minute mark, Boy Wonder heard warbling coming from the shaft to his right. He silently scrambled to the vent grate and looked down. He seemed to be over some sort of assembly room. Six figures sat in chairs some thirty feet below him, but the dimmed lights made it impossible for Robin to properly analyze. An insane cackle from someone outside of Robins sight line reached the young hero's ears, and he stiffened **(read footnote for explanation!)**. The Joker. Robin was 98.726% sure it was the crazed clown, he knew that laugh anywhere. Somehow, he had been captured by Gotham's number one villain.

Silently removing the vent grate, Robin gripped his weapon, the mighty ballpoint pen, and formulated a plan.

Silently drop from vent onto group of thugs

Use pen to poke out a few eyeballs and kick butt

Once the goons were taken out, go after the Clown

Was this a solid, well thought out plan? No. Was Robin going to go through with it anyway? Yes. Why? It was his best chance at escaping, given that he had no weapons. Or clothes, for that matter. Taking a deep breath, Robin plummeted from the ceiling.

THUD.

"Ow!"

SMACK

"What the?!"

CRACK

"Oooomph!"

"Dude, stop punching me!"

"It's not me!"

"I fink my noz iz bloken!"

"Aaaack! Can't. Breathe."

"Somebody turn on the goddamn lights!"

The lights turned on and everybody froze, scrunching their eyes to the sudden brightness. Robin blinked rapidly and his mouth formed a perfect "O". The Flash was sitting flat on his rear, his hands covering a very bent, very bloody nose. Wonder Woman, Superman, Aquaman, and Martian Manhunter were picking themselves up out of their dog pile with stunned expressions.

"But you-"

"I thought that,"

"Oh, wow."

"Sorry…"

"My bad-" the four heavy hitters gibbered over each other.

"Robin, please release Green Arrow."

Robin looked down and gasped, realizing that the "thug" he was choking with his own bow was indeed the very purple Emerald Archer of Star City. Robin jumped back, his race contorted into an expression of bewilderment that was easy to see, even under his mask.

"Robin."

The Boy Wonder jumped and spun around with his pen still gripped tightly in his hand. Dick relaxed at the sight of his dad, dropping the pen and glancing around. In tack and shattered chairs were scattered across the room, two wooden tables had been cracked in half, the other leaguers were still on the floor groaning, and Robin was fine, but still in his underwear.

"Oops?" the Bird said bashfully.

* * *

Robin's med room door in the Watch Tower swung open and Batman exited followed by a fully briefed, and fully clothed Robin. The Dynamic Duo entered the public examination room silently. Flash was peeling tape off of hi nose; it had been broken but healed in about 45 minutes. Green Arrow was holding a bag of ice to his neck, and Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and The Martian were standing and talking.

"Well, how I was supposed to know! If KF's antidote hadn't worked, he could have still been a Joker drone! Locking him in seemed like a good idea!" Superman was protesting.

"The kid gave himself super speed Supes. The antidote was going to work," injected Green Arrow.

"But…"

"Use your brain, Blue!" said Flash cutting the Kryptonian off. "It's Baby Bat's we're talking about. Robin. The Boy Wonder. The future **Batman**. Would _you_ lock Batman in a room, alone, in a place he had never been before?" the Speedster explained.

"No…" Superman replied embarrassedly.

"Smart, because that would be a big mistake," sounded a gruff voice. The heroes turned around and saw the two Gothamites standing behind them. Superman hadn't even heard them come in. The Dynamic Duo walked out of the med bay, leaving the stunned Leaguers behind, and Dick looked up at his dad and smiled.

"FIRST ONE TO THE ZETA TUBES GETS TO DRIVE THE BATMOBILE HOME!" he shouted. Bruce let out a rare smile and started off sprinting down the hall after his son.

* * *

 **The explanation:** Dick was taken to the Watch Tower after he was given the antidote and heavily sedated. The "Joker Laugh" he heard was actually a replay of security footage that the heroes in the assembly room were watching. Batman was briefing them on what happened with Robin at the cave, and the video was actually of Robin laughing, not Joker. You can see how that would be confusing to a highly trained crime fighter who had just busted out of a locked room in an unfamiliar place. Never underestimate a Bat, Superman, never.

* * *

Authors Note - THE END! I hope you liked it, let me know! I will be posting another story soon! XOXOXOX


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